She's Out of My Life
by remjad
Summary: As Caledon Cal Hockley looks for Rose at the Carpathia a few hours after the Titanic's sinking, he thinks about how he's acted and how he does truly care for her.


Summary: Caledon "Cal" Hockley ends up losing his fiancée, Rose DeWitt Bukater, to Jack Dawson when he, Cal, disrespects her aboard the _Titanic_ several times. However, as he looks for Rose at the _Carpathia_, he begins to truly think about the way that he's acted and how he truly does love her, even though he couldn't show it.

Rating: K (equivalent to G rating)

Genre(s): Drama, Angst, Songfic

Disclaimer: The characters Cal Hockley and Rose DeWitt Bukater (Rose Dawson) are the property of James Cameron, who wrote the TITANIC (1997) screenplay, and I'm just using the situations and characters in the film in my own creative way. I'm not profitting from this.

(Monday, April 15, 1912)

"Where on Earth is Rose?" Caledon Hockley asked himself while he walked around on the _Carpathia_, the ship which now carried many passengers who had been on the _Titanic _when it'd sunk just a few hours before. "I must find her!" Even as he said this, though, a chilling thought came to him then. _What if Rose isn't on this ship because she perished in the freezing waters in the early morning hours? _

"Oh, you won't find any of your kind in this section, sir," said a crew member. "It's all third-class steerage here."

"Cal" glared at the crewman, who then turned away and walked down to another area of the ship. He suddenly caught a glimpse of a strand of long, curly red hair under a shabby blanket. Rose's hair. _"Rose," _he mouthed. He slowly crept over to her.

"Hello, Rose," he greeted her with a small smile.

Rose DeWitt Bukater, who was still several months away from turning eighteen years old, appraised him with an icy stare. "Cal, don't talk to me. Just listen. Now, I will make a deal with you, since that seems to be the only thing you can understand or feel joy over."

_That's not true at all, _Cal found himself thinking, but he prudently kept silent.

Rose continued speaking. "From this moment, you do not exist for me, nor I for you. You shall not see me ever again. And you will not attempt to find me. In exchange, I will not let your disreputable actions, which occurred during the sinking, to ever come to light. Is this, in any manner, unclear?"

Cal stared at her and into the aquamarine depths of her eyes, wanting desperately to push back a lock of her hair. However, he knew that this would never be possible. Cal knew he would never be able to touch her, or even be near her, ever again. "But, your mother and I have been looking for you...I thought you'd perished."

"Obviously, I lived through it—luckily for me, not so luckily for you. Let me tell you just what I think of you. Caledon Hockley, I think that you are a very conniving man who cares nothing for others besides yourself, unless there is something in it for you. There aren't enough words in the English vocabulary to describe just what a cruel person you are..."

While Rose let him have it with her vocal tirade, Cal thought, _She has every right to think of me that way. But, I had to control her—she was running around with other men when I wasn't watching her! I can't believe that she wanted that steerage swine over me, the man who could have provided her with everything she would've ever wanted. I even gave her the "Heart of the Ocean," for heaven's sake! _

When she finally stopped talking, he told her, "Rose, you're...you're precious to me."

"Jewels are precious to me, Mr. Hockley. _Au revoir_; goodbye. I no longer wish to hear from you."

"But what will I tell your mother?"

"Tell her that Rose DeWitt Bukater died on the _Titanic_. It's not as if she'd really have a care, anyway. Now, leave me. Please."

With a resigned sigh, Cal finally did as she wished and turned away. "You can keep my coat," he murmured, not sure whether or not Rose had heard him. And, at that point, he really didn't care. What difference would it have made if she'd heard him or not? "I'd better go tell Ruth what Rose told me to say."

_She's out of my life_

_She's out of my life_

_And I don't know whether to laugh or cry_

_I don't know whether to live or die_

_And it cuts like a knife_

_She's out of my life_

_It's out of my hands_

_It's out of my hands_

_To think for two years, she was here_

_And I took her for granted, I was so cavalier_

_Now, the way that it stands_

_She's out of my hands_

_So I've learned that love's not possession_

_And I've learned that love won't wait_

_Now, I've learned that love needs expression_

_But, I've learned too late_

_She's out of my life_

_She's out of my life_

_Damned in decision & curséd pride_

_Kept my love for her locked deep inside_

_And it cuts like a knife_

_She's out of my life_

"I'm gonna miss you, Rose," Cal whispered. "You would've been a splendid wife had you not betrayed me with that wretched piece of filth that was Jack Dawson. I stillcare for you."

THE END

(Song Credits:

Title: "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE"

Artist: MICHAEL JACKSON ©1979)


End file.
